Depression

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Depression

Post by Polargames on Sun 10 Jun 2018 - 1:54

Hi everyone, I know a lot of you do not know me at all, I am Polargames, feel free to call me polar. I am still very new to this website but so far I think I have made some great progress. Any who, I have depression, I normaly do not talk about it very much because I feel very self-conscious about it and I also do not like its stigma at all. The reason I have brought it up because I have not had this for very long, and I was wanting to ask if its normal for a person that has it to feel like a black hole is inside you sucking all of the fun,joy,and happiness from the inside out. I have this feeling most everyday, So is this normal. I am also on meds for it as well, but sometimes I feel if I am just takeing candy because it does not feel like the meds are working. I am pouring all of this out because I feel really at home at this site, the people that I have meet are very cool and nice, Also I just want to get a better understanding of dealing with it. Please do not think I am trying to get sympathy form any one, I want to assure you all that I am not, I am just trying to understand this disorder more. Thank you for takeing the time to read my post and I hope you have a good day.
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Re: Depression

Post by wizzrobemaster on Sun 10 Jun 2018 - 12:07

I also experience depression and anxiety believe me it can be pretty debilitating, which was one reason I got back into gaming (although I do not feel motivated to play the new games I currently have). for me, it comes and goes like a storm, but the best thing to do is discuss with anyone you trust or is dealing with the same situation. believe me, when I know I am not alone with these issues or learn that others who have experienced similar, if not worse problems (which I never expected to be the case) then I feel more relieved because I never expected them to have these challenges like me. my advice is to not let it consume you because depression can have a very strong gravitational pull. keeping yourself occupied with activities can help, but if it is too much then talk to someone about it. I hope this advice can help.


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Re: Depression

Post by Polargames on Sun 10 Jun 2018 - 22:52

wizzrobemaster wrote:I also experience depression and anxiety believe me it can be pretty debilitating, which was one reason I got back into gaming (although I do not feel motivated to play the new games I currently have).  for me, it comes and goes like a storm, but the best thing to do is discuss with anyone you trust or is dealing with the same situation. believe me, when I know I am not alone with these issues or learn that others who have experienced similar, if not worse problems (which I never expected to be the case) then I feel more relieved because I never expected them to have these challenges like me.  my advice is to not let it consume you because depression can have a very strong gravitational pull. keeping yourself occupied with activities can help, but if it is too much then talk to someone about it.  I hope this advice can help.  


Thank you very much wizzrobemaster this means a lot to me. So the black whole feeling from I have read from your post a normal thing for depression. I also have anxiety as well as PTSD. From what my Doc has told me they feed off one another, but it does feel good when you talk to someone that also has it. I to use videogames as a out let as well and had felt that I do not have the drive as well, I fight that a lot because when I play a video game it feels like it heals my head. I know that it might sound strange, but it is ture. At lease for me. Does it work the same way for you as well?
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Re: Depression

Post by wizzrobemaster on Mon 11 Jun 2018 - 7:12

well when I am motivated. one reason I got into hacking was because I have played some games to death that I wanted to change them or even make them better. I feel it keeps me occupied, but some games have gotten me extremely frustrated such as in triforce heroes, skyward sword, smash4, and hyrule warriors. I feel like that when playing strategy games some random thoughts pop into my head that I cannot let go. when I have trouble, I speak to someone about it. that back feeling you describe does feel like a gravitational pull and I said that the more you think about it, the harder it is to move away from it. on the other hand sometimes it could be stress for me and I move to a different task or get into a conversation, it diverts my thinking. I have aspergers, which is what makes it very difficult for me to connect and it also contributes to my obsessive behavior. it is also the reason I have trouble learning advanced hacking because it is very overwhelming for me. puzzledude (especially) and conn to an extent (although a lot more patient) have found my comments to be a great burden. what I like when playing video games does include the atmosphere even if the game play is bad. I also like the music. while I find skyward sword to be a trainwreck in terms of its control scheme and a low tier Zelda game, it does excel in terms of its aesthetic nature and sound track. I also like having video game related dreams where I have even renacted them by editing music files on audacity by adding sound clips from other games. it almost sounds like the audio was ripped from a walkthrough recording.

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Re: Depression

Post by Polargames on Mon 11 Jun 2018 - 22:10

I understand dude, I thank you again on the advice you have given, It has helped me a lot. I like music as well, beside video game music, what music do you like?
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Re: Depression

Post by wizzrobemaster on Tue 12 Jun 2018 - 6:21

I like video game music. preferably from jrpg's. SS btw probably has the most underrated sound track in the series.

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Re: Depression

Post by Polargames on Tue 12 Jun 2018 - 18:36

wizzrobemaster wrote:I like video game music. preferably from jrpg's. SS btw probably has the most underrated sound track in the series.  

Cool, I am more of an action/aventure type person. I never got into jrpg because rpgs are hard for me to figure out. But I do have some favorites like Gauntlet, LOZ: Majora's Mask, thats my favorite Zelda game and would the old school Resendent Evil be considered a RPG. If so then that as well. For sound track wise at least for me its Kirby's Adventure for the NES that I feel is underrated at least to me it is.
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Re: Depression

Post by wizzrobemaster on Thu 14 Jun 2018 - 4:15

I liked KA's sound track as well. Nightmare in dreamland did add the fountain of dreams theme however. Majora's Mask was the second Zelda game I owned. my brother had Z3.

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Re: Depression

Post by Polargames on Thu 14 Jun 2018 - 19:50

wizzrobemaster wrote:I liked KA's sound track as well. Nightmare in dreamland did add the fountain of dreams theme however.  Majora's Mask was the second Zelda game I owned. my brother had Z3.

Sweet, I love the fountain of dreams theme, its my favorite :-D. Majora's mask is my first game I own. I was thinking about Majora's Mask yestersday after my anixty meltdown, I really wish that it did not happen, and not on this fourm. I reminded me how when Link puts on one mask he becomes different, well that kinda what I have to deal with everyday. I honstly hate that and I really wish that I could take my anixty and depression masks off and destroy them along with my other dissablity. See I have a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) from a long time ago, and in a nut shell makes things at times harder then what they are, also I have trouble understanding sarcasm which is not a geat thing to have. I wounder sometimes why am I here at all.


Last edited by Polargames on Thu 14 Jun 2018 - 19:52; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : spelling errors)
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Re: Depression

Post by wizzrobemaster on Sun 17 Jun 2018 - 4:27

What I really like about Majora's Mask are its side quests and that for a low budget Zelda game, it was still very innovative for its time. I loved rolling around as a Goron or swimming as a Zora in the N64 version. May I ask what caused the TBI?

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Re: Depression

Post by Polargames on Sun 17 Jun 2018 - 12:44

wizzrobemaster wrote:What I really like about Majora's Mask are its side quests and that for a low budget Zelda game, it was still very innovative for its time.  I loved rolling around as a Goron or swimming as a Zora in the N64 version.  May I ask what caused the TBI?

Sure, How I got my TBI was due to the fact I was in the hospital for lung failure, I was put into a coma by the request of the Docs so that my lungs would heal. While in said coma there was a lack of oxygen to my brain at some point that the docs somewhat knew of, I guess it was one of the side afects of being in a coma that cause the part of my brain to be so damage to the point that it is in the catagory of TBI. I do not know what part of my brain is damage because the docs never to me where.
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Re: Depression

Post by wizzrobemaster on Sun 17 Jun 2018 - 13:50

That must be a really scary experience. when did it happen?

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Re: Depression

Post by Polargames on Sun 17 Jun 2018 - 17:34

wizzrobemaster wrote:That must be a really scary experience.  when did it happen?

A long time ago! That is when it had happened. I honstly do not remenber to much of it, Its kinda fuzzy, but I can recall the Docs faces and the needle that was in my arm and boom it all went dark. Then I woke up and saw a nurse ask her where was I, and she sat down on a chair and told me what happened. I would be lieing to you if I told you I was not scared by this, I was really scared. Ohmygod
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Re: Depression

Post by wizzrobemaster on Mon 18 Jun 2018 - 1:03

those experiences sure are frightening. I remember having oral surgery 10 years ago and everything blacked out. surgery can always be scary because of complications.

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Re: Depression

Post by Polargames on Mon 18 Jun 2018 - 1:57

wizzrobemaster wrote:those experiences sure are frightening. I remember having oral surgery 10 years ago and everything blacked out.  surgery can always be scary because of complications.  

Yes it can be, I think the scary put is at least for me, being put under. You do not know what is going on. That is what really freaks me out the most.
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Re: Depression

Post by SunGodPortal Today at 0:51

I don't know if I can offer any help, but if there is anyone who knows depression, it's me.

I'm bipolar and it's basically robbed me from having any semblance of a normal, productive life. Forget a wife and kids or a career. I do well not to kill myself from one hour to the next. I suffocate under the weight of my own existence. Then, something random will occur and I'm giddy and full of life, excitement and creativity. Couldn't be more alive. Life is torture and I can't kill myself because my brother died when I was a teenager and I'll never forget the effect that had on my parents. I can't do that to them despite wishing every day that I was dead. When they're gone, there won't be anything left to stop me.

I take meds and they work well enough. If they worked any better they would be running the show. I like their effect to be more of a suggestion than an anvil though. I take an anti-psychotic (mood-stabilizer) and an anti-depressant. I've tried many different meds and I don't want to try anything else because there's nothing slower and more painful than the process of trying out new medications for your mental illness(es). You could waste weeks or months of your life to this shit and still maybe not find the drug or combo of drugs that works for you for years. You just have to accept this or die. There's no way around it if your problems are severe enough. You can't think your way out of being mentally ill any more than you can being diabetic or cancer-ridden. That's not how biology/chemistry/physiology or whatever works.

As far as stigma goes, I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks with regard to this as long as I know that I am trying my best not to destroy myself and everything around me. I don't judge people for being bald, stupid or having an ugly nose so I'd appreciate if they returned the favor.

You know what else is great? I've got gender dysphoria. As if my life wasn't complicated enough.

Anyway, if all you've got is depression, feel lucky and if you are a religious person (which I am not) then you should thank God for not giving you more trials and tribulations to test your faith. He's letting you off easy. LOL
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Re: Depression

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